How Clutter Happens

Thinking about clutter this morning. Occurs to me that part of what creates clutter is an imbalance of incoming and outgoing. Let me clarify that. If more comes into your home (space, life) than is handled, you are left with a pile of loose ends, unhandled items, ignored influences that are ever present even if not conciously examined.

So what's the game here? Looks like a clump of games to me.

First, there is the game of recognizing the flows. Can you see what is incoming? Can you let go of the outgoing? We get an influx of junk mail on a regular basis. Also incoming are bills, food, dust, sometimes objects that we purchase. I'm going to try to notice what is incoming this coming week. Outgoing is garbage from food and all that incoming junk mail. Sometimes old broken objects. Again, this week I will try to notice what goes out.

Second, there is the game of handling rather that putting off - that's badly stated - maybe the game is getting to being able to deal with the inflow. Goal being zero inflow sitting in limbo on the kitchen table. This would involve making decisions after viewing the inflow - discard, take action on, put in pending, file for reference. Non-physical inflow is another matter. (will take that up in another post) So this week, I'll up my game by getting those limbo items off the kitchen table.

Third, there is the game of recognizing and handling the accumulated clutter that's been around for awhile. Easy to look at a corner and see a pile of something that just got left there at some point in the past. This stuff is all un-dealt with inflow, or items with nowhere to go. Two separate categories. To up my game this week, I'll look at a pile each day and pick one thing off of it, decide if it's unhandled inflow (if so, handle it) or a homeless item (give it a place to go). I'm choosing one item a day because I think I can confront that. Hard to imagine confronting a whole pile or corner - small steps.

That's a start on the clutter games. Wish me luck!

Yellow bushes

Every year at the end of winter, my kids and I would play a game of sorts. The game was to be the first to spot a sign of Spring. The first plants that would signal for us the start of Spring were yellow bushes and pink trees. We had no idea what these plants were called, but we used to shout out "yellow bush!!!" or "pink tree!!!!"

So today, on my way to work, I saw a bush that had just the beginning of buds........and they were yellow......

In the interests of upping my game, I have looked up 'yellow bushes' and discovered that those flowering shrubs are called Forsythia. They like full sun, are deciduous, and can grow to about five feet. They are early bloomers.

As for pink trees, I've found that we were probably mostly spotting Dogwood trees, although there might have been an Oklahoma redbud or two on the way to the mall.

Now I am notorious for my inablility to keep a houseplant alive. I underwater, overwater, transplant too early or not soon enough. I don't know why I am so inept. I start out ok and then somehow the plant ends up dead. So I guess the challenge here is to get a plant and keep it alive.

Wish me luck.

Engagement vs Distraction

My husband and I had been talking about engagement recently.

So one day on my commute to work, I saw a woman who had a baby in a stroller. The baby was fussing and crying. The woman absently waved a rattle at the baby while talking to someone else. It struck me that instead of engaging with the baby to find out what the problem was, (hungry, wet, cold, lonely) she was just distracting the baby so that she could continue doing something else.

So then I was watching the news, and it struck me that in this time of economic crisis, there were a lot of people running off on tangents, criticizing, denying, fear-mongering, stoking fury. There were a few people actually trying to engage with the situation and focus on solutions, but most were just shaking the rattle so that they could do something else.

It got me thinking of why. Why distract, why deny, criticize, run off on emotional tangents? So I started looking at the moments when I distract, deny, etc., and here's what I see.

First, sometimes you just don't want to deal with it. You don't want to be there with the situation. For example, when there is a very smelly probably homeless person on the subway car that looks asleep, but you have to watch for a breath to be sure they are not dead. This is a situation that I do not feel capable of dealing with. I choose not to engage. Best I can do is inform the subway crew.

Second, sometimes you don't understand what is going on. For example, with the financial crisis, most people don't really have a clue about how the major financial institutions work. I know my knowledge is limited. When you see conditions in the country getting worse but don't really know how it happened, it's easy to just lash out in frustration. Well, it might be time for all of us to up our game on the financial situation. I'm thinking of getting some understanding going on. Personally, I've started reading a few books on economic themes. This is helping, but I'm just starting. It might be time to teach financial planning in school so that people don't fall for crazy schemes that they can't afford. In short, we all play the game of finance (even if it's just personal finance) and so we should learn the rules of the game. That's the first step to playing better.

Third, sometimes you are just cowardly. For example, I was recently at a party that had Karaoke going on. Although I love to sing, I wimped out and didn't try it. Wouldn't get out of my comfort zone. So maybe I should look for ways to step a little outside of my comfort zone.

Fourth, sometimes your intention falters because the job seems too big. It's overwhelming. For example, de-cluttering my house. There are hundreds of things I'd rather do than clean out those corners of clutter. Talk about distraction! If I find a way to get over this and engage with my house, I'll let you know. Haven't found it yet.

There are more and more reasons, but I'm not going to go further tonight. More tomorrow.

Starting

This blog is meant as a place to explore thoughts on Upping Your Game - which can mean several things depending on how you look at it. It can mean evolving some aspect of your life. It can mean moving out of a rut you have dug yourself into. It can mean getting better at doing something that you are already doing. It might involve recognizing what the game is that you are playing. The whole idea is to discover how to do this.

Just starting this blog is my first step in upping my game - the game being sharing thoughts. The game also being expanding my ability to articulate ideas that are on my mind. The game also being reaching out to others and maybe getting feedback on these thoughts.

I don't get much opportunity in my day to day life to converse on ideas that intrigue me. Most conversations are just quick social interactions, about weather, sports, work, health, the economy. Don't get me wrong, I love talking to people. I enjoy these short connections. I even consider them important to the social framework. But sometimes I just want to really flesh out some thoughts.

So I'll log thoughts here and see what comes up. Good night.